hello! I'm Pamela, 16. I talk with chords, and sing with words. Currently a high school girl who lives in Jakarta. Love to learn something new and get excited by doing wild things.
Catching Elephant is a theme by Andy Taylor
You see, for every single decision you have made for your life, it would affect your life in every possible way.
And I see, that for every single decision I’ve made, I’d gain something, and lose something. That doesn’t make me an angel. Or a hero. Or a wise girl. It’ll just make me a commoner. That’s what everybody does. Making decisions. Living through it. We might have made few mistakes in making decisions, but that’s normal. That’s completely normal. Some other days we’ll regret about what we shouldn’t do, but we did, anyway.
And some other days we’ll realize that we just lost something we thought we’d never lose.
I just realized I was so naive. I was so selfish. I was so proud of my self. I was so blind. I was so stupid, yet so unsteady.
I’m not taking my words back. I have made my choice for my life. And I’m gonna live through it.
The matter that annoys me the most is : I just realized I took him for granted all this whole time. I was so naive I thought I’d never miss him. I was so proud of my self I thought he’d stick around forever. I was so stupid I thought it would be pretty easy to me. I took him for granted. And yet I never say sorry to him about this. He doesn’t even know.
The thing is, he matters to me more than I thought he did.
It doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t even change my state of mind.
But this is what happening lately to me : every time I listen to our song, it comes to me. The memories. It rewinds in my head like, crazy. The hugs. The kisses. The smiles. Holding hands. Fighting. Laughter. Tears.
That he gives me something what other people don’t give me this whole time : every teen’s dream.
To lay on the grass. To stare the moon together. To feel the wind. To feel the rush.
To make mistakes. To regret about it. To do something right. To be thankful about it.
Well, here I am. As pathetic as I could be. Stiff as statue, taking this thing very, very slowly.
I’m tired.
Look, what I’m trying to say is that I enjoy what i’m going through right now.
It’s just 24hours a day are not enough for me.
I must say………. Donald Duck’s families. Uncle Scrooge and the rest of them. But I hate Mickeys, really.
Physically, I’m right here, right now, in the middle of my normal teenager life. I’m in my room, typing in front of my beloved old Macbook, spending Saturday night, rarely, by reading some books and watching Glees & How I Met Your Mothers.
But not my head.
No. It always turns like this, since I was just a little girl who found out that reading is an awesome experience. It always is like this every single time I read too much. My head will always fly somewhere.
And it is flying somewhere you’ll never know, right now.
It is between a gift & curse that my imagination is beyond wild.
I know what I want. I know the big picture of it. I always know it since I know how to read and understand novels. Since my cousin lend me that Dan Brown books when I was 11.
Since I know that I have to believe that I can always be more than this, that I can reach whatever I want. Since I realize that life keeps something big for those who deserve it.
And what if, what I really want, is not here? What if, I really want to end up somewhere far, far, far. The furthest I can reach. The better.
What. if?
(Source: weheartit.com)
Tuhan adalah karakter yang paling tidak bisa ditebak. Setiap orang mencoba untuk mendeskripsikan-Nya. Setiap orang merasa mereka mengenal-Nya. Setiap kesenian mencoba untuk menggambarkan-Nya, tapi tidak ada yang benar-benar seperti-Nya. Tuhan mencintai kita, tapi apakah kita tidak dapat saling mencintai karena kita menyebut Tuhan dengan nama yang berbeda?
SOMEWHERE IN THIS PLANET
“Do not ever forget, a miracle on this planet that ever found
It shines dim in the palm of my hand
The most valuable of my treasure…
We’ve talked about a dream where we have wings
The country of the sun which was across the rainbow that we jumped
With abundant fun presentiment in my heart ..
In the glittering memories, we stood looking at each other and express what’s inside our hearts
The blue color is soothing the heart, which raises the courage, and show us a miracle ..
I discovered the wonders of today is tucked in
That is, the love that will not change, which was behind the same door
Never forget, that we are born, and met on this planet
We have created a miracle of time travel through the journey we have passed… “
happy birthday to myself :)
welcome, 17. welcome, maturity!!!
like you know, this all sucks. actually, the feeling about being lose is what very sucks. so now you won? satisfied? happy? well, don’t wish I’ll be happy for your happy life. happy yippie. I never ask you to make me happy and say nice words to me. but please, for once, can you please not to think only YOUR SELF and YOUR DAMN LIFE and YOUR OWN FUCKING PROBLEMS? you aren’t living alone. you are here with me and I have my own feeling too. that i have problems too, that i have my own life too, and it is completely inappropriate to treat me this way. you might not realize about this AT ALL, because you don’t care about everybody else, that you are so self-centered you can’t even listen what’s screaming beside ur ear. it is not always about YOU. you can’t go on with your life, ain’t care everybody else’s feeling, and being okay with that. or else you will not get anyone beside you. nope even ur bestfr.
