Insane Schooldays!

You see, for every single decision you have made for your life, it would affect your life in every possible way.

And I see, that for every single decision I’ve made, I’d gain something, and lose something. That doesn’t make me an angel. Or a hero. Or a wise girl. It’ll just make me a commoner. That’s what everybody does. Making decisions. Living through it. We might have made few mistakes in making decisions, but that’s normal. That’s completely normal. Some other days we’ll regret about what we shouldn’t do, but we did, anyway.

And some other days we’ll realize that we just lost something we thought we’d never lose.

I just realized I was so naive. I was so selfish. I was so proud of my self. I was so blind. I was so stupid, yet so unsteady.

I’m not taking my words back. I have made my choice for my life. And I’m gonna live through it.

The matter that annoys me the most is : I just realized I took him for granted all this whole time. I was so naive I thought I’d never miss him. I was so proud of my self I thought he’d stick around forever. I was so stupid I thought it would be pretty easy to me. I took him for granted. And yet I never say sorry to him about this. He doesn’t even know.

The thing is, he matters to me more than I thought he did.
It doesn’t change anything, it doesn’t even change my state of mind.

But this is what happening lately to me : every time I listen to our song, it comes to me. The memories. It rewinds in my head like, crazy. The hugs. The kisses. The smiles. Holding hands. Fighting. Laughter. Tears.

That he gives me something what other people don’t give me this whole time : every teen’s dream.

To lay on the grass. To stare the moon together. To feel the wind. To feel the rush.

To make mistakes. To regret about it. To do something right. To be thankful about it.

Well, here I am. As pathetic as I could be. Stiff as statue, taking this thing very, very slowly.